We are in a world of daily communication. From digital devices to face-to-face interaction, it is inevitable.
As we interact with people everyday, we notice that many people have different moods, feelings, behaviours and cultural attitudes, and some people are very sensitive about these differences. For the various types of people we interact with, we need to know the importance of different communication methods in order to avoid any type of mistreatment and misunderstanding. I believe most people know this, but it’s also good to remind ourselves again, so I have written down my ideas and experience to share with everybody.
Sometimes, we experience people who have different moods – bad, good or combative – depending on their daily struggles. It’s wise to not to fall into any of those negative moods that could lead to conflict in communication. How do we avoid this?
Firstly, pay attention to facial expressions, body language and the speech tone of the person you are going to communicate with. With this awareness, you will not interrupt someone who seems to be angry or sad. We can also use comforting words: “ Are you OK,” “ Do no worry,” “ You ll be fine,” etc., It’s better not to use a lot of words that can add confusion to their anger. Words such as, “ never,” “ always,” “ why,” and “ should,” can have unintended negative impacts. Analyzing how these words can have negative impacts can help you help them.
Here are some thoughts on how and when using “ never ” can effect a person’s emotional state. For instance, a mom sees her kid is opening a bottle of milk in the wrong way, and it spills on the floor. Then the mom responds to her kid by saying, “ Never do that again, ” “ Why are you doing this,” or “ You should not do this.”
At this point, the kid probably feels guilty, discouraged and blamed by mom. The mistake he made now results in him feeling upset and emotional pain.
The negative words have only made the situation worse. Unfortunately, similar interactions happen all too often.
A good way for the mom to respond is to say, “ Son, you are opening the bottle the wrong way, and I will show you how to do it so that you will not break the bottle and can avoid spilling the milk on the floor when you use it next time.”
She could then ask, “ Do you think you can help mommy clean the floor? ” How sweet is this? The kid will feel encouraged the minute he hears his mom’s positive words and will be definitely motivated to correct himself.
It is very important for everyone not to fall into the mindset of negative feelings when accidental mistakes are made.
Thus, the words “ never, ” “ why, ” “ should, ” and “ always, ” are better used for factual matters in school, lectures, science or in any fact-based material.
For example, a factual statement on insulating your house could be, “ You should always put lots of insulation inside your walls. Never underestimate the important of good insulation.”
As another example, if your co worker has just made a mistake at work, and you want to solve this issue, but avoid any conflict, you could say, “ Do you think we can try this in different way? ” or “ Do you want me to show you how I usually do this? ”
It is a good idea to encourage people with positive language.
As a reminder, try not to use the following words in a situation that is already negative. It is better not to add fuel to the fire:
“ You shouldn’t do that ”
“ Why do you do that ”
“ You always do that ”
“ Never do that again ”
Last but not least, do not feel afraid or shy to say “ I am sorry ” for your own mistakes. And readily admit that you have made mistakes because you didn’t understand or know how to do it in the correct way. By being honest, you are already half way to solving your problem. Most successful people in the workplace know that 80 % of your financial success comes from your relationships with your co worker or the boss, and your skill is only 20%.
Therefore, communication and relationship building greatly matters for your future success. In any kind of business, the best marketing is the positive relationships and caring that you build with customers. The better the relationship you have, the better the future you will experience in your field.
This approach also greatly benefits your relationships with family and friends.
We all are here to learn, grow and adapt so that we can create peace and healthy environment with our positive actions.